What Are the Things People Never Tell You About Life?
One of the seldom mentioned truths about life is regret. Most people keep their regrets to themselves, feeling too ashamed or believing there is no need to speak of what has already passed.
What do people regret the most?
“If only I had been brave enough to speak my mind. If only I had believed in myself more.”
Indeed, something worse than failure is regret. As I read the novel *Before the Coffee Gets Cold*, I came to understand an essential truth rarely spoken of about life: the regrets that people tightly keep to themselves.
Regret for choosing to leave when feeling unworthy of love
In the novel, a man feels insecure with his girlfriend because of a scar on his forehead that makes him feel strange. This situation worsens when they walk together, as his beautiful girlfriend always attracts attention from other men.
I never underestimate insecurity, the feeling of inadequacy that makes someone feel unworthy of love. I can even understand when someone feels unworthy of living for reasons that seem trivial to me.
Acne, stretch marks, dark skin, wavy hair, not being highly educated, living in a small house, working in a small office, being a contract employee, unstable financial conditions, using an Android phone, being a widow, or not being a virgin.
If these reasons were put into a jar, they would fill a large jar. Why? I don’t know. Insecurity involves feelings, and understanding feelings is often quite difficult.
Behind a sense of inferiority may lie a deep fear of rejection. Being abandoned and disliked for showing one’s true self is indeed painful. Everyone just wants to be accepted as a whole, with all their strengths and weaknesses.
When feeling small, insignificant, and lacking something special, the affection shown by others can become painful. We end up constantly questioning whether we are worthy.
“Why is he interested in me in this state? If only I had never met him, I wouldn’t be tormented by the need to erase my feelings. I love him, but at the same time, I feel unworthy of him.”
Before the Coffee Gets Cold taught me to savor life while it is still warm. Allow someone to show their love for me, even though I still have to come to terms with feeling unworthy of such treatment.
I will seize this opportunity to reveal more about myself and get to know him better. The purpose of a relationship is to learn to communicate feelings, share fears and worries, not just to joke and laugh.
In life, some things can only be seen after time has passed. Perhaps I will realize the profound regret of leaving someone because I felt unworthy, especially if it turns out that he truly loved me no matter what.
It is better to have the courage to honestly express all the insecurities I feel than to ghost him because I feel unworthy. All it takes is courage to reveal the true answer. Does he still feel the same after knowing the real me, or not?
If the relationship does not go well and last, I will not regret showing my true self. What is there to regret? I only lost someone who was not right for me. In the future, there will surely be many opportunities to meet someone who is a good match.
At the end of the story, the woman wishes she could tell the man who chose to leave, “I never worried about his scar. I still love him and want to stay with him.”
Regret for not appreciating someone’s presence while there was still a chance
The second man is described as suffering from Alzheimer’s, a condition that causes his memory to gradually fade, and he forgets his wife. He has a letter he wants to give to his wife, but because his memory fades, he forgets to whom the letter should be given.
Forever can be considered a very long time. However, in reality, forever only means a lifetime. For some, a lifetime may only be a few decades, while for others, it can span eighty years.
In my teenage years, I tended to view time as something given to me for free, often using it carelessly. Entering my twenties, I witnessed many of my peers leave this world, some even younger than me.
Since then, I have realized that life is very short and fleeting. I began to live more carefully while not overdramatizing situations. After all, everything in this life is temporary. There is not enough time to hold on to everything for too long, like a cup of coffee that quickly cools down.
Heartbreak is indeed painful, but I do not want to let this pain disrupt my future. Being in a relationship with the wrong person is sad, but I do not want this trauma to hinder my happiness.
Meeting the person I love brings happiness. I do not want to forget the reality that nothing lasts forever, including happiness. By realizing this, I can appreciate someone’s presence more, both in joyful and painful conditions.
Without valuing time, one can easily ignore the preciousness of the life given to them. Someone might waste time being angry at their partner for too long, even giving them the silent treatment for several days. Yet, this could be their last day together.
Wouldn’t they deeply regret parting forever in a state of anger? Because no one knows the plot of life’s story. Perhaps they forget that their partner is the one they once prayed to God to meet. Why waste time together by arguing over trivial matters for too long?
Not everyone can always smile happily. Sometimes, tiring days make someone appear sad. As long as there is no abusive behavior or breach of commitment, life will go well as long as both parties are patient through all situations.
I believe that someone who decides to marry understands the promises they make. The vows they speak to treat each other kindly, to protect each other, and not to leave their partner even if there is someone better out there.
I have never seen a couple print their wedding vows in an aesthetic way to hang on the wall, to always remember. Maybe because these promises are not printed and hung on the wall, they are forgotten as time goes by.
At the end of the story, the letter the man wanted to give to his wife reads, “Even if my memory fades, I want us to live together as a couple.”
Thus, what I have learned from this novel is that life can seem irrational and difficult to understand. However, by striving to live it carefully and as best as we can, this journey will help us become better and stronger individuals.
Thank you for reading.
